Thoughts: Relationship vs. Single

Time check: 0211

I'm left with less than 3 hours of sleep and I'm having difficulties falling asleep. I'm tired but my mind just can't let me go sleep in peace. Super frustrated.

A thought came across my mind not long ago and it's something to do with relationship and so decided to post it here.

I was single for a short while before I met J and during the period, I was nursing a broken heart and told myself I wouldn't want to get involved in another relationship so soon. I finally got back my singlehood and I was enjoying every single bit back then, so there's no way I'm going to get emotionally involved with someone else again. No way.

But I failed. Duh.

And now I'm emotionally attached to someone else. His ups are my ups. His downs are my downs. When he is happy, I'm happy. When he is sad, I'm sad. 

I'm selfish. I love the ups but never the downs. The downs are disgusting and they just make me regret for not staying in my singlehood. At least if I did, I wouldn't need to care about others' downs but just mine. 

All boils down to the balance of pros and cons in a relationship or being single, isn't it? I know if I'm given a chance to turn back time, I will still end up in the same outcome. Because being in a relationship surpasses being single anytime for me, at least in the long run. Just got to suck my thumb and deal with the downs. 

Have you encountered the same too? :x

Ok, gonna try and sleep now. Goodnight.

♥

Count my blessings

What will be will be. Whoever that is no longer part of my life has since left. No more crying over spilled milk. The end.

Now in this transitional phase of 2015 (it's still considered 2014 under lunar calendar), I often find myself reflecting and appreciating the changes in my life. Not to forget, to thank those that stood by me all these while. 

Start of 2014 was a downhill for me. Felt like I was on an emotional roller-coaster ride and it was definitely a toll on my mental health. Thank goodness it's all over. Mid 2014 was a mixture of uncertainty and anticipation. Being an eager explorer of the multiple dimensions of my new life and seeking a slight bit of serenity, I was astonished and yet confounded.

Count one's blessing; I had all these people (and many more such as Marcus, Vincent etc) to catch my fall and witnessed how I got up on my both feet, with endless encouragement and support. I'm not a good speaker or writer and I may not convey my thoughts accurately with the right vocabulary but I believe I could still say this right:

I'm deeply grateful for every single one of you in my life. All those endless love and concern, continuous encouragement and support that you guys had given me. Thank you all.

Special thanks to my family. My dad's words have become the strongest motivation for me to move on and it will always be etched in my head. I will never forget those words that always wet my eyes. And my mum, watching her cry hit me hard as I know I have caused my loved ones to worry about me and I got to stop being such an unfilial daughter. Last but not least, my brothers who showed concern by giving me pats and have occasional small talks with me. I hope I'm not too late to say I have finally understand the love my family has for me ♥

And just like a rainbow after the rain, there's always a good thing after the pain. 

For that, Mr. J appeared :)

♥